Cepher Blog

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The Dragon Has Left The Building

I thought I would share some good news with you that may create more questions than answers, but I believe that whatever direction the information leads you it will be worth passing on.

I have been under the claws of the “Dragon” (which is the name I gave to my Multiple Sclerosis because it was the only dragon/ ailment that I was not able to overcome on my own) for about the past six months, and just in the past few days the Dragon has left the building. As bad as it has been with MS, I thank God for it. It has been the driving force that led me into complete surrender to God. When you have lived by your physical abilities to a very long and successful extent, and in an instant your ability to physically overcome all obstacles is gone, a very serious situation arises in your life that makes you extremely desperate and forces you to find out why.

At its most extreme, Multiple Sclerosis is an emotionally straining as well as cognitively confusing disease that makes it very difficult for me to realize when I am in the grip of the Dragon as it slowly chokes the life from my veins. I usually can sense when the Dragon approaches by the odd heavy, puffy feeling in my left eye which will begin to blur as the Dragon begins to take hold. Unfortunately, soon after the Dragon begins squeezing, my legs become weak, my balance becomes hampered, I become fatigued and it feels as if I am living inside of a bowl of clear viscus fluid making everything I do extremely difficult, including breathing. It is at this point that I lose the ability to realize what is causing all these symptoms, and when people ask what’s wrong or how am I feeling, at times I am at a loss of an explanation.

However, with each new MS episode/exacerbation I find myself getting closer and closer to God as I am forced to depend upon Him. The more I depend upon God, the more God provides and shows me how wonderful our relationship could truly be. I have been experiencing these bouts with the Dragon for almost two decades now and when they were first diagnosed God gave my wife a scripture that has been thoroughly true, and has given her the strength to get through all this within the Grace of God–John 11:4.

Of course I cannot say what would have been had I not gotten sick, but I can say unequivocally with regards to every aspect of my life, that where I am at today is about as wonderful as I could have ever hoped for, and the only item I would like to see improved is to some day very soon become as dependent, trusting and surrendered to King Y’shua Messiah as any human being has ever been. That is because I have become certain that there is a God that created everything, and the entire Creation is designed for one single purpose, which is to help the beings that God created specifically to learn to become completely dependent on God.

What do you get the person who has everything? You give that person a being that has the capability to learn how to love him/her, who will in the end choose to love the person who has everything not because the person has everything, but because the person who has everything is so magnificently wonderful, compassionate, sensitive, and has a love that surpasses understanding.

We are on this earth to learn who the Creator is, as well as, learn how to love the Creator with the very same Agape Love the Creator has for the Creation.

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Filed under: Challenge, Diet, Trust, , ,

Hello, Diary?

DEAR DIARY,  WHAT THE HECK !!!!!!!!!! It has been 5 months since my commercial was made and the spot has come out BUT I’m not in the spot!!!!!!
Seems they cut me out ! ?
My wife’s job situation has not gotten any better.
My backs still hurts like heck and we have some family issues that are bugging me bad!
However I’m am sitting here watching fall leaves float to the ground in the brightest of colors and praising my GOD for the wonders of life.
To think that a year ago if I were in this place with all these difficulties I would have been drinking my sorrows away. BUT this year with GOD in control I am at peace and know that HE has it all worked out. Don’t get me wrong, I still at times get side ways but now only for moments. I know that I’m going to have to rake the beautiful leaves up and do those things that make up this life. BUT for now I am going to do nothing but enjoy GOD.

Filed under: Diary, Jehovah,

Need Family?

Spent some time with my brother Tuesday and actually two weeks ago we were singing a worship song together which we have not done in a long time (Because he cannot sing to save his soul!).
It’s a special blessing from GOD when you have a brother you can share life with.
It’s a special blessing from GOD when you can share life with your brother.
It’s a special blessing from GOD when you can share life with GOD !!!!!!!!
GOD is sooooooooooo GOOD!
I still have all the crap that life is sharing with me and like a fool I continue to accept,,,,, BUT ,,,,,, it is good,,,, because I know that it will get better,,,,, because I have GOD !!!! And He will continue to help me shrug off life’s crap.
I thank you JESUS MESSIAH for coming into my life so that I can have this HOPE.
If you do not have a brother or for that matter, do not have GOD, please write.
We here at Cepher would love to be part of your family.

Filed under: Diary,

9-27-9

Just finished reading 2 Chronicles 15.
In verse 17 you read that King Asa did not remove the ” High Places” ( canaanite deity worship ) BUT ” nevertheless the heart of Asa was loyal all his days”.
This gave me hope because I know that there are ” High Places” in me that need to go BUT
I feel I’m not able to release them.
Nevertheless my heart is loyal ( right with GOD ) because of my surrender to JESUS the MESSIAH.
It is not in me to make myself right BUT it is within the power of ALL MIGHTY GOD to do so through HIS HOLY SPIRIT.
Thank you FATHER for the CHRIST in me – my hope of glory ( Col. 1:27 )

Filed under: Diary

Diary 9/22/09

It’s been 13 days since my last diary entry. Almost two weeks of day in – day out ordinary life struggle stuff.
Thirteen days of good and bad.
My wife has not lost her job – Good. But there is still the chance – Bad.
I just celebrated my 56th birthday – Good. My body feels like 76 – Bad.
Just got a check for $ 100.00 – Good. My truck needs $ 200.00 of work – Bad.
I look at the good stuff and praise GOD.
I look at the bad and realize: my wife loves me and  JESUS – Very Good.
My body hurts but I’m alive and I can get around without help ( unlike that guy I saw in the motorized wheelchair ) – Very Good.
My truck needs work but it’s my truck that I own and I can get around without any hassle – Very Good.
Thank you GOD for the Good and the Very Good in my life.
Also – thanks for being so patient with me FATHER !!

Filed under: Diary

Diary 9/9/09

I’ve decided to date the diary entry because I can not remember what number I’m on, diary # 1 or was it # 5 last time? One thing I do remember is that GOD is GOOD !!!
I just found out my wife may lose her job. Now I can look at this as a bad thing or remember that GOD is good and has good things for me. Not that all things look good to me but that GOD sees the out come and knows ” that all things work together for good to those who love GOD, to those who are the called according to HIS purpose.” ( Romans 8:28 ).
Will I allow my circumstances to drive me crazy or drive me deeper into a relationship with my MOST HIGH GOD?
I have lived 55 years in this world and it’s ways. This, my 56th, year I have chosen to surrender my life to my MESSIAH JESUS.
GOD knew me before I was born ( Jeremiah 1:5 ) and has good plans for me ( Jeremiah 29:11). I choose to believe GOD.

Filed under: Diary, Faith, , ,

Diary For God

I realize ( now ) that this diary is not to log the journey of my acting career but my life with GOD. I was going to say that there would be no more Johnny’s Journey, because I realize that there would be duplication of thought. But I also know now that we never say never.
We give each day to the HOLY SPIRIT and take it one day at a time.
So for now I have been led by GOD to concentrate on the Diary so as to share some insight.
Why the change in heart? Because the MOST HIGH GOD, our SAVIOR, FRIEND, HOPE, LOVE, LIFE our PAPA is at work in me as HE has been since the beginning of time.
HIS new lesson is nothing new. It’s what I’ve known, preached, thought, tried to live for all these years___ Draw close to GOD and HE will draw close to you. ( James 4:8 )
Do not make this life and world # 1. GOD is the priority.
Merciful GOD how many times must I come back to square 1??????
My brother tells me that I don’t go back to square 1 but  maybe  1& 7/8th.
So we do make some progress and it’s true. I’m not the A-hole I was a year ago and I’m much better than 10 years ago. So maybe I am closer to square 2.
But I long for square 10.
In the mean time I log my journey of progress at GOD’S pace.

Filed under: Diary, , ,

Diary 6

Found myself watching commercials during the Hall of Fame Bowl to see if mine would come up–find myself focused on this new adventure in life—I amaze myself !!!
I have dedicated my life to GOD, gone to prayer meetings, bible studies, workshops and retreats. Fasted, prayed, cried, sung to GOD. Read the bible 3 times through and over 100 books related to GOD. I have come to the rock solid truth that we can do nothing but surrender and wait for GOD to work HIS way in us.
BUT – you do not pray surrender or think surrender or speak surrender – you become surrendered – you become surrendered – you become surrendered !!!!!
It is a process- yes you come to GOD and pray and believe BUT HE will work in you ( Phil. 2:13 ) – ( 1 Thess. 5:24 ) what you are to become–we are to just believe and trust day by day.
And it is one day at a time—1 day turns to 2 and then 3 and 3 days turns to a week and then 8 months and then I asked ” what the heck is going on ??? !!!!! ” because to me there was nothing but for GOD there was everything. I am reminded that Moses waited on GOD for 40 years and King David was anointed King but waited 15 years to see it come to be.
On thru the bible GOD shows us ( to prepare us ) that His ways are not ours. And as we wait we are not to get sideways or travel into left field  to find our place or cause or calling.
Once you except GOD’S  ways you wait where you are until HE moves you.
But it’s tough, we think that we should do something, to go somewhere, and for us to have to go through the same old ordinary routine is not what we want — it’s not what I want !!!!
Then HE reminds me that it’s not about me.
In many ways it is because GOD so wants for me to be perfect and complete that HE centers HIMSELF around our life 24 / 7. BUT it is still about HIM – HIS GLORY , HIS WAY.
So when I get side ways and start planning my next move, venture, journey – I’m reminded
” TRUST ME ” ” ABIDE in ME ” make ME your focus and not yourself or your family or your job or your life but focus on ME and all these other things will fall into place perfectly.
( Matt. 6:33 )
So if you find yourself like me – pre-occupied with yourself and your world –get on your knees and thank GOD that HE is so loving.

Filed under: Diary, Faith, Jehovah, Jesus, , , ,

Diary 5

When you get tired of falling, get fed up with all the bad you have created in your life and the lives of others; that will be the time for you ( like me ) when you give up, surrender, release and relinquish all to JESUS and true life will begin.
HE will be GOD to you and others around you and you will be responsible for nothing except to be wrapped up in GOD 24 / 7.
This does not mean you will sail through life on a cloud (there will be still some bad times) but now GOD is in control and you just know that all things work out for your good (Romans 8:28). Yeah, pride has a way of really bringing out the worst in a man, I know, I’ve been there many a times and the other day on the Universal Studio lot I felt just like John Wayne for just a minute or two – till the world slapped me across the face (First I was J.Wayne 50yrs ago, then J.Wayne today).
Like I said , you will just have to wait till the commercial comes out in a few weeks and you will know why I just laugh at myself now. You will too. Till next time GOD bless.

Filed under: Diary

Diary 4

Yeah, I get sideways some times–mostly cause I don’t listen to the HOLY SPIRIT and do my own thing. I told you I learned something from my Hollywood journey. Told you to don’t play GOD, don’t get wrapped up in yourself, to humble yourself or you would get slapped–not by God, but by life.
Why? Why humble yourself?
What does GOD say?
2 Chronicles 7:14 – ” if MY people who are called by MY name will HUMBLE themselves-”
1 Peter 5:6 – ” Therefore HUMBLE yourself – ”
Isaiah 57:15 ” HUMBLE spirit – ”
Romans 12:16 – ” Do not set your mind on the high things but associate with the HUMBLE”

HUMBLE, HUMBLED, HUMBLES, HUMILITY over and over it is written by GOD for our benefit, our well being, our right relationship to others and GOD.

Pride the opposite of humility is the foundation of what I believe is the true problem with man. The pride of man the pride of Satan–is this not the start of sin?
If you hold on to your right to yourself, if you want to be your own god or god for others in your life then there is no place for the TRUE GOD to be.
If you think this, if you think to highly of yourself I can guarantee that at some point you will fall, fail, be brought down.
Now at this point you can pick yourself up and keep on trying or you can surrender your life and throne to the TRUE GOD.

Filed under: Diary

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